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Parody of Ordinary Life by Chad Brock (Connie Harrington/Bonnie Baker), Magnolia Hill Music (ASCAP) (A division of McSpadden-Smith Music LLC). New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC) Cledus at the kitchen table |
printable copy of the lyrics to Coronary Life |
| Short of breath, legally disabled Wife walks in, she's so surprised Can't believe I'm still alive I say I'm hungry for biscuits and gravy That patty melt that you always made me But I can't eat that anymore |
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They say grease kills; Tastes good to me Day in, day out it's all I eat My third bypass, unclogged the valves Just to clog them again Never felt worse; A constant thirst Lordy how my left arm hurts I blame my job, I blame my wife For this coronary life |
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Cledus on the ER table Vital signs ain't too stable Hey, Doc, I'm proud of you I didn't think that I'd pull through Later in Intensive Care I had the nurses laughing there So thankful Blue Cross will pay |
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For the bills, my IVs Four thousand dollar EKGs That's the last time I need Angioplasty It's off I go to Type-O To improve my cardio It's about time I said goodbye To my coronary life |
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Sweat's pouring off me at the health spa The Stairmaster's wore me out again You know I can't believe how much I miss The way I used to live |
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I'd eat red meat, Pickled pigs feet Always craving something sweet My food was fast, But that's the past I can't eat fat again Aerobicize, Reduced my thighs No more German chocolate pie I miss my fudge, I miss my fries And my coronary life |
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