| printable copy of the lyrics to THINGS ARE SELDOM WHAT THEY SEEM | |
| Buttercup.
Things are seldom what they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream; Highlows pass as patent leathers; Jackdaws strut in peacock's feathers. |
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Captain. (puzzled)
Very true, So they do. |
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Buttercup.
Black sheep dwell in every fold; All that glitters is not gold; Storks turn out to be but logs; Bulls are but inflated frogs. |
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Captain. (puzzled)
So they be, Frequentlee. |
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Buttercup.
Drops the wind and stops the mill; Turbot is ambitious brill; Gild the farthing if you will, Yet it is a farthing still. |
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Captain. (puzzled)
Yes, I know. That is so. Though to catch your drift I'm striving, It is shady — it is shady; I don't see at what you're driving, Mystic lady — mystic lady. |
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Both. (aside)
Stern conviction's o'er me/him stealing, That the mystic lady's dealing In oracular revealing. |
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Captain.
Yes, I know — |
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Buttercup.
That is so! |
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Captain. Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that for ever: Once a cat was killed by care, Only brave deserve the fair. |
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Buttercup.
Very true, So they do. |
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Captain.
Wink is often good as nod; Spoils the child who spares the rod; Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers; Dogs are found in many mangers. |
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Buttercup.
Frequentlee, I agree. |
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Captain.
Paw of cat the chestnut snatches; Worn-out garments show new patches; Only count the chick that hatches; Men are grown-up catchy-catchies. |
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Buttercup.
Yes, I know, That is so. (aside)Though to catch my drift he's striving, I'll dissemble — I'll dissemble; When he sees at what I'm driving, Let him tremble — let him tremble! |
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Both.
Tho' a mystic tone I/you borrow, He will/I shall learn the truth with sorrow; Here today and gone tomorrow. |
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Captain.
Yes, I know. |
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Buttercup.
That is so! |
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(Exit Little Buttercup.)
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DIALOGUE
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Captain.
Incomprehensible as her utterances are, I nevertheless feel that they are dictated by a sincere regard for me. But to what new misery is she referring? Time alone can tell! |
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(Enter Sir Joseph.)
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Sir Joseph.
Captain Corcoran, I am much disappointed with your daughter. In fact, I don't think she will do. |
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Captain.
She won't do, Sir Joseph! |
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Sir Joseph.
I'm afraid not. The fact is, that although I have urged my suit with as much eloquence as is consistent with an official utterance, I have done so hitherto without success. How do you account for this? |
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Captain.
Really, Sir Joseph, I hardly know. Josephine is of course sensible of your condescension. |
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Sir Joseph.
She naturally would be. |
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Captain.
But perhaps your exalted rank dazzles her. |
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Sir Joseph.
You think it does? |
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Captain.
I can hardly say; but she is a modest girl, and her social position is far below your own. It may be that she feels she is not worthy of you. |
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Sir Joseph.
That is really a very sensible suggestion, and displays more knowledge of human nature than I had given you credit for. |
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Captain.
See, she comes. If your lordship would kindly reason with her and assure her officially that it is a standing rule at the Admiralty that love levels all ranks, her respect for an official utterance might induce her to look upon your offer in its proper light. |
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Sir Joseph.
It is not unlikely. I will adopt your suggestion. But soft, she is here. Let us withdraw, and watch our opportunity. |
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